B&D Wedding

2nd near Harrison. A burly, bearded guy, who resembles Kevin Smith, talking into a cell phone.

"... and after the marriage vows, I want her to SPIT in my FACE."

(to be followed, presumably, by a cake fight.)

Market St. 8 am

Seen on the sidewalk at Market and 2nd.

My guess is that three used-car salesman tried to look in the trunk of J. Frank Parnell's Chevy Malibu.

Casualties du Jour

Clearwater, FL: "[the bicyclist] failed to yield to a GMC van..."

Farmingdale, NY: "a 14-year-old... was fatally struck by a car Sunday..."

Orange County, CA: "Bicyclist only moderately hurt in crash"

Flagstaff, AZ: "bicyclist has been killed ... after a collision with a city dump truck."

Chillicothe, OH: "...killed Sunday afternoon as he rode his bicycle on U.S. 23"

Saugerties, NY: "A 16-year-old bicyclist remained hospitalized Monday after being struck by a patrol car..."

In the interest of fair and balanced reporting:

Boston, MA: "An 84-year-old ... who was hit by a bicyclist Friday afternoon died later that night..."

Since I am of course in NO WAY fair OR balanced, I feel I should point out that the bicyclist stayed at the scene of the accident, at least tried to help, and was not charged.

The Right Way

On Caltrain, conductor's voice over the intercom:

"Please keep cell phone use to a minimum, and speak quietly into your phone when in use. On the behalf of your fellow passengers, we ask you to be considerate, and exercise discretion. Thank you."

No, no, no. Here's how to do it:

"On behalf of all the scam artists and personality thieves on the train, we'd like to ask you to speak loudly and clearly into your cell phone at all times, especially when discussing information of a personal or private nature. Thank you!"

That should work.

Parenthood

Overheard while waiting for a light at 9th & Judah. A mother and her toddler son, I'd guess about two years old, were holding hands and waiting to cross the street.

BOY: "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy."

MOTHER (annoyed): "WHAT?!!"

(pause)

BOY: "I love you."

If that doesn't just sum it up perfectly, then nothing does.

Today's Casualties

Wellfleet, MA: "... it is believed that a dog in the vehicle may have impeded [the driver's] point of view."

Salt Lake City, UT: "The driver was not cited as he had a green light..."

Clearwater, FL: "The bicyclist ... crashed into the back of a parked mail truck..."

Edmond, OK: "The man was riding a bicycle on a sidewalk ... and lost control..."

Logan Township, NJ: "[The bicyclist] was traveling on the shoulder ... when he was struck by a pick-up truck."

Charleston, SC: "The bicyclist was given a warning citation for disregarding a stop sign."

Utica, NY: "The unidentified driver was found at his residence and ticketed for leaving the scene of an accident."

Obama Speech Aftermath

My six-year-old daughter, along with the rest of her first-grade class, listened to the President's speech on Tuesday. We had the following conversation that evening:

ME: "Did you go to hear Obama's speech with your class today?"
HER: "Yeah."
ME: "What did he say?"
HER: "I dunno."

So much for her indoctrination into The Socialist Agenda. I'll just have to do it myself.